Be As Happy—and Grateful—As This Donkey
It's the little things…
People complain about the traffic in Los Angeles, and rightly so. It is terrible. Isn’t LA traffic one of the layers in Dante’s depiction of Hell? I think it is. A punishment for vanity, perhaps?
I remember all too often being stuck in one spot, not moving—the exit in sight. Ten minutes… Twenty minutes… Oh look, we moved 30 feet. Thirty minutes… For the love of God, the exit is RIGHT THERE. Just let me ouuuuuuuuuuut!
I remember my girlfriend (now my wife) calling me from a primitive cell phone, in tears, her already-long commute back from Ventura County made even longer by an all-too-typical backup. Should I get off at White Oak and take surface streets? No…that will be even worse. Okay, then I won’t be home until 7:30…
As bad as it was, though, it had a positive side for me. While stuck in traffic, I discovered talk radio. First Larry Elder. Then Dennis Prager, Michael Medved, and Hugh Hewitt. It was the perfect education for that phase of my political journey and, in some ways, it changed the course of my life.
Of all the hosts, I would say Dennis Prager had the most broad-spectrum effect. He wasn’t just focused on politics alone, and I learned a great deal from his more philosophical and personal content.
One of these features was called the Happiness Hour, in which he discussed many of the themes in his book Happiness Is a Serious Problem. Among these…
Don’t wait to be made to be happy by external forces—choose to be happy.
Act happy even if you’re not, and you will start to feel happy in short order. (This has been borne out by scientific research many times.)
Your happiness is contagious, but so is your misery. Be happy not just for your own well-being, but for the well-being of those around you.
Take joy in the little things.
Be grateful.
This last one was reinforced by a psychiatrist, Dr. Stephen Marmer, whom Prager would frequently have as a guest. I recall Marmer establishing three continua:
Entitlement vs. Obligation
Autonomy vs. Intimacy
Envy vs. Gratitude
Citing his his work as a clinician, Marmer noted that people are happier when they choose to be to the right side of each. A feeling of obligation to others produces greater happiness than feeling as though you are owed something. Personal relationships produce more joy than going it alone. And being grateful for what you have is far more happy-making than envying what others have.
All of this came flooding back when I saw the video below of a donkey being given a new version of his favorite toy—a screaming rubber chicken.
It’s just a little thing—just something he can hold and squeak—but look how excited he gets. And even more importantly—look how he comes over to say thank you before picking up the toy. That is real gratitude.
I used to be of the school of thought that animals were largely programmatic—that they were not particularly sentient, and ascribing emotions to them was just anthropomorphizing them. The proliferation of cell phone videos and social media venues to view them have proved me utterly wrong. Animals have sophisticated emotional states, and even a rudimentary understanding of moral principles.
This donkey is clearly happy. And he is clearly grateful.
There’s a lesson in there somewhere.
Great piece! I have noticed that whenever I make the conscious decision to be happy, I end up feeling great and stay in a good mood throughout the day. I’ve been trying to convince people to do the same... which has proved challenging. I might need to use this post to back me up next time I try to have a discussion about it. Oh, and regarding animal personalities, couldn’t be more true. Our corgi is all over the place and doesn’t hold back in voicing his opinion on anything and everything (especially when he disagrees with something).
If that video doesn't make you smile... I guess you're just hopeless.
I don't have a video, but I have a chicken story that will certainly make you think.
Three years ago we bought five chicks, named and raised them. Maggie was the first one that escaped the brooder, and that was the pattern for her short life. Perhaps Maggie thought she was a crow (she certainly loved to fly) and our six foot privacy fence could not fence her in. Even though the safe back yard fulfilled her basic needs, it was just too small for Maggie. My back and side neighbors all knew Maggie, and the rest of the neighborhood saw her in the front yard. While the rest of the flock dutifully went into the safe coop all summer, Maggie preferred the Japanese maple. (In winter when the tree was bare, she slept in the coop on the highest perch, of course.)
If we didn't see Maggie, all we had to do was call her name and she would appear on top of the fence and crow as if to say " here I am". If we saw her in the front yard, she would hang her head and go to the gate, wait for us to open it, and go to jail, often back in the front within 10 minutes. She knew she was breaking the rules as she was often chastised for her wandering ways, but she was a rebel. Friends told us to clip her wings, but we didn't have the heart. One summer night, we forced her into the coop and she went beserk, throwing herself against the coop door. We let her out to go to her tree.
Early this year we got new neighbors with dogs. The previous owners had dogs too, but Maggie knew their routine. Needless to say our concerns were valid because on April 6 Maggie was killed. The neighborhood (and especially my husband and me) went into mourning for Maggie, the chicken who wanted to be free.